when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
