Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
