How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
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He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
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I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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