I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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