I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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