Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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