Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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