You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize