Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize