I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
