Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
