..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
