Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
