yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize