That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize