Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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