Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
even my farts smell like vagina
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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