Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
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My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
The air was thick with penises
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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