i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
