3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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