pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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