do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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