But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
