Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
