yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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