I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize