all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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