you guys were way drunker than both of me
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
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