Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
