He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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