Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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