that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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