Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
