My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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