the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
