Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
