hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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