he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
