Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
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I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
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Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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