worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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