I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
either way he was missing a nipple.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
