guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
