i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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