no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
