if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
