Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We're too hungover to prance.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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