well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
