I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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