Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize