so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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