dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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