found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
