Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize