i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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