dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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