I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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