So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
