On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
