I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
