My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
