I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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