420 ftw
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize