That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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