My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
