She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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