Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
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The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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