PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
