Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
