I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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