I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
