You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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