so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
